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A Support Group - Another way of teaching how to cope |
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Our "Meitiv Project" - Home Care for Children with Cancer - works in many ways for the benefit of the sick children and their parents who care for them. As much as their care becomes a routine, it's very difficult to adjust to the accompanying hardships, and to face the sick child's suffering. The entire home life changes, with the other children sometimes feeling resentment at the reduced attention that they get. Their reactions to this vary, when some children, with a silly childish reaction, become "jealous" of the sick sibling. The parents, too, are not immune to negative feelings; lacking the experience that is needed for coping with prolonged tension, they lose their patience towards the rest of the family, or become withdrawn and quiet. They don't always have the courage that it takes to expose their innermost feelings and emotions, to allow someone from the outside help them navigate their way. They prefer to be like a blind person, groping in the dark, without letting even a little light drive the gloom away.
 The social workers at Tel Hashomer Hospital were aware of this, but had no proper framework of a support group to recommend to religious parents, something that would be suitable to their way of life and attitude. On the other hand, they felt that it would not be right to withhold such support, with the necessary emphasis and appropriate professional accompaniment, from those who needed it. Therefore, they called Benny Friedman, director of the Meitiv Project, and presented him with their request and the necessary logistics. Soon afterwards, the support group opened.
The parents came stealthily, not wishing to reveal their personal problems. There, under the professional guidance of Mrs. Channa Weiss, SW, they were given tools and methods of coping with their challenging problem.
The group had 10 sessions, during which the members opened up and exposed some of their personal experiences, conducting a group discussion on ways of coping with such situations.
We didn't try asking one of the parents to tell their story while exposing their identity; however, off the record, one mother asked to convey in her name, and on behalf of the other parents in the group, their sincere thanks for the initiative of opening such a support group, and especially for the pressure that was exerted on them to participate.
This pressure left them no choice, but to help themselves against their will!
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